


"I only realized how important you are to me after we separated."

by Kacychase



Category: I Love Yoo (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23268952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kacychase/pseuds/Kacychase
Summary: Prompt. NSFW
Relationships: Hirahara "Nol" Yeong-Gi/Yoo Shin-Ae, Hirahara Kousuke/Yoo Shin-ae
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	"I only realized how important you are to me after we separated."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simplygrimly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplygrimly/gifts).



WARNING: ~4.5 K WORDS

As I get called to the director’s office, I already know what’s coming ahead. I haven’t put on lipstick on purpose so far. I wouldn’t miss the chance to snatch a kiss by the boss I’m dating after all.  
With a grin on my face, I quickly knock on the door before opening it. Quite honestly, I immediately feel some anticipation diminish as I see Kousuke’s facial expression. “Good morning, Kousuke, how are you doing today?” I quickly tell him with a small smile, slowly closing the door to leave some files at his desk. When his sharp blue eyes focus on the files and simply murmur a “Good morning Miss Yoo” To be honest, I might not be happy but who knows – Kousuke’s a busy man.  
“Admittedly something is bothering me today,” he quickly mumbles, closes his eyes and sighs in distress. Wow, something really must eat him up. We have barely started dating this time around, but I’ve known him prior already. Today is not going to be a good day for him.  
“What is it?” I immediately reply and finally see him look up. As I see his pupils widen, my immediate reaction is to hide the smug grin I probably would have given him. “You look good today, Miss Yoo.” You didn’t need to tell me.  
Honestly, something about my interactions with Kousuke teaches me a lot about how to please, and although I would have never thought of it before, I’m getting used to it by the time I’m working here. If I manage to walk in high heels, I’m much more capable than I originally thought of being.  
“Thank you.” “And you have purposefully left your lips untainted. Perfect. Frankly, I could need the stimulation.” His intense eyes still stare into mine, their blue bore into my mind as I comply. He is quite the good kisser actually, something my two-year-younger me would not have expected from such a stoic man.  
He opens the kiss, getting me all riled-up and heated, and I sincerely try not to let my hands wander, possibly even mess up his clothing. But why is he so damn good? My mind is kind of blown by his tongue sometimes as he skilfully makes his move and the door opens-  
Suddenly, his tongue and lips slip away from me. My brain just tries to process as to why, as I slowly analyze his face. But he doesn’t look at me.  
The door.  
Oh God, we got caught.  
“Hello, Kousuke.” Shock, bolts, and surprise shoot through my body and straighten my spine as I move my head to the door.  
There he stands. Yeong-Gi looks so different now, although he hasn’t changed his hairstyle. Actually, he looks wilder right now, as if his past years have given him more time to roam around.  
I used to think that we would never see each other again. I have buried the goodbye-kiss in my memory; we have never even spoken of that again after, even when our chatting has died down, or rather his chat initiation did.  
But now, here he is, standing in front of Kousuke and me. Stupidly hot with his jawline, tall and straight standing muscular body, his chemise and pants slim-fit. Lord, save me. What the heck am I thirsting for – I just made out with another guy. What is wrong with me?!  
Whatever I am thinking, all of these background urges evaporate once I lay eyes on his impression. His face is still as stone, his eyes big in shock, wonder and… hurt? “Hello, brother,” Kousuke smoothly breaks the silence. However, Nol immediately interrupts him: “Don’t call me that. However, I’m sorry I’m interrupted, should I… uh… wait outside for a few minutes?”  
His curious yet unsure gaze is directed at Kousuke, but as his green pools lock eyes with mine, I suddenly feel electrified. Guilty. Why does he do that? How dare he do this after he left?!  
_Be honest. It’s not him doing this._  
Shamefully, I close my eyes and take a breath. “No, you guys better resolve whatever you need. I was done here anyway. I will just catch up to you later, alright?” I know that my breath and smile are shaky, my eyes forcefully closed, my gaze not meeting either of the man’s look even once.  
Quickly seeking the exit out, I immediately cover my face in my hands once I have made sure none of them see me. Realizing that I can’t focus at the moment, I head to the ladies’ bathroom - probably the only safe space from these two. Why does Nol’s comeback affect me so much? Why am I so ashamed that he has caught Kousuke and me? I shouldn’t be, he’s part of the past.  
But he has been there. Back then, I was sure not to see him again.  
First, though, I need to talk to Kousuke. During our first date, he has even told me that he knows of Nol’s whereabouts. Why didn’t he tell me?  
How am I going to deal with all this stupid romantic drama now?  
_Ah. Fuck it._  
For now, I’m getting back to work.

Time passes by, I have seen Nol once in a while, but at least Kousuke has been avoided completely. And since my mind has drifted off, the days have passed. Two, three, four. Weeks went by in a painfully slow pace whenever I become aware of the redhead around the office. At some point, I don’t even try to talk to Kousuke. Honestly, I don’t even want to know the reason why Kousuke didn’t tell me right now. He should have told me that Nol is coming back. Closing my eyes, I get back to the paperwork of the facility – after all, my college education to be a nurse has to be funded somehow.  
However, I notice that this time, I can’t give my files to anyone to relay it to Kousuke.  
Sigh.  
I need to get my shit together anyway.  
Slowly going ahead to his office, I knock on the door. As his voice tells me to open, I smoothly enter his office.  
And I can see his eyes widen once. “Shin-Ae-“ “Here are your files, Kousuke”, I interrupt him and I immediately see him be irritated. “May I speak to you for a few minutes?” His voice sounds demanding but pleading at the same time. How does he do this? “Okay.”  
I want to hear his side of the story. “Why are you ignoring me?” What. Did he seriously just ask that? “Excuse me? You knew Nol would come back, didn’t you?” As his eyes seem to have a gleam in them – hurt and the sense of being caught – I already know what to do. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
Silence.  
As his eyes divert to the ground, I can hear him sigh in distress – he seems to be sincerely upset about this situation. But I should care for his answer rather. “I didn’t want to make you worry during your time at work. I was afraid that if you found out, you wouldn’t want to work here anymore at worst, so-“ “Oh, so you think I would just quit because of a complicated history with Nol?!”, I reply, not believing what he just used as a reason. “Shin-Ae, please don’t interrupt me”, he growls, having me even angrier. “What else was your reason then, Kousuke? Was there anything else?”, I hiss back, furious with his decision about this. How was I going to trust him thus far? I can’t believe it!  
As he stands up and immediately approaches me, I suddenly feel his arms on mine. “Shin-Ae, I didn’t have any impure intentions in mind. It was about you keeping at work and the only logical thing to make you stay comfortable.” He stares at me, eyes shortly hovering over my lips and back to my eyes. From this view, I can see his raven hair, blue eyes and soft skin. And his damn skilled lips. “I… I just”, I reply looking back at him in conflict.  
Suddenly, he silences me with a kiss. However, I can’t believe what he has just said. So I break the kiss as I take a step back, detecting my own lipstick on his lips. “Have a nice evening, Kousuke.”  
My voice is as cold as stone, but my heart feels betrayed.  
However, I don’t have much time to think as I see Nol in the hallway, just in front of the door.

  
~--°--~

There he is, right next to me, walking me home. I can’t even believe that I have agreed to Nol accompanying me.  
_“Shin-Ae.” His eyes were surprised as he looked down at me, his green eyes staring through my eyes right into my soul. I didn’t want to look away, but at the same time, I really did. “Can we talk?” His voice sounded so incredibly hesitant, so in need of help. And his smile… It was exactly the times I felt bad for him._  
_I didn’t know how the hell I know this after two years, I didn’t even know why I remembered so well. Why did he have such an effect on me after he arrived?_  
_We barely even talked. However… For some reason, I just knew I had to know his side of the whole story. He owed me after so long. I owed it to myself._  
_“Alright.”_  
“How have you been?”, I hesitantly ask into the silence, unsure of what to do. He looks so handsome these days and from the few glances I have thrown at it, I even see something on his neck. A tattoo perhaps?  
I bet it looks good.  
“Pretty great actually. England is amazing," he replies, a dreamy smile on his face as he looks down at me. Wow, he sincerely seems happy with his decision. For some reason, I only partly get less angry at him.  
…  
No. I’m still hurt. “How about you? It’s been a while. I know that you had a rough time back then. How have you been dealing with things?” As we turn into my dad and my apartment, Nol shyly looking away, already looking like he's unsure what to do. Not answering his questions on purpose, I focus on opening the door.  
My hands are shaking. He’s back. And now we are going to talk.  
I hate myself for the dreams of us.  
As I open the door and we go up the stairs, I murmur a reply with a sigh, slightly less distressed by each second that passes. “Shin-Ae…”, I hear him say my name, and I can’t help but secretly blink hard to notice that this is NOT a dream. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”  
When I finally finish fiddling with my damn keys, I just open the door and turn around. His eyes are already fixated on me, his face that previously has shown an expression and nervousness softens. I don’t really know how long we stand there, green clashing with red, freckled, redheaded man and a brunette, small woman.  
Gosh, and back then, I already thought he was handsome.  
“Come in. Would you like some water?”  
“Sure, why not, thank you”, he just replies as both of us go in and take off our jackets as well as our shoes. What is he doing here? How is this talk going to go? I can’t help but feel my shivering fingers. Either way, he’s here now. And I’m ashamed of how often I wondered how this would end.  
Surely, we both feel the painful silence as the noise of me pouring in two glasses of water is the only thing audible. Both of us just look at each other, then sit ourselves at the kitchen table. And as I see his beautiful face, I feel my heart squeeze. Why do I feel so emotional all of a sudden?  
“So, what do you want to talk about?”  
It really is the question hanging in the air, creating the tension between the two of us. It’s been two years. We have last seen each other two years ago. Even the kiss has happened two years ago. “Shin-Ae.” The way he says my name binds me to look into his eyes.  
I can’t believe that he has previously hidden his freckles though. They’re so sweet, part of his handsome exterior. _Very handsome exterior._  
What the heck is wrong with me.  
His face however seems conflicted. “Why Kousuke, Shin-Ae? Why did he and you get together in the first place? Has he treated you differently?”, he asks, and I immediately feel my eyes go wide. I’m utterly dumbfounded.  
“What?”  
“What happened between the two of you?”, he repeats his essential question. And again, I just… I seem to be malfunctioning. “Well, we”, I stutter like a robot, “We decided to try it because we kinda worked out recently. Why are you interested?”  
Again, his eyes show determination, but his face tells a tale of conflict. What is bothering him so much about me and Kousuke? Does he feel… No way…  
The question he asks me is in such a soft voice, I ask myself if he’s close to cracking: “Did you miss me, Shin-Ae?”  
_Of course I did. I was missing a piece of me once you left._ “Yes, Nol, I was. Why didn’t you reply to my texts?”, I answer his question with another one. His eyes, his red hair and eyebrows are right in front of me with his freckled skin, nose, jawline, muscled body… Quickly, I close my lips. Fuck, Shin-Ae, keep it together.  
Surprisingly, he starts laughing. But his laugh holds no humor, and neither does his smile afterwards. “You know…”, he mutters and looks to our hands, his water long forgotten. They are so close to touching, I feel the tension between them rising. So. Close. “When I was off to England, I did this to find myself. To become more independent and finally be myself. I mean, even though you knew that shit was going down in my family - and it still is - it is not all.” His smile shortly cracks as he lets out a shaky breath. I can’t do it. Out of reflex I gently touch his fingers with mine. An electric pulse go through my hands.  
They feel so weird again. “And I only realized how important you are to me after we separated - whether as a friend or not. This wasn’t only because of the kiss, Shin-Ae”, hearing him mention the kiss makes me sharply take in my breath. He remembers too then. What am I supposed to do?  
I really was missing him for so long. I was angry for so long. But here I am, feeling more conflicted than anything. “So what do you want to do now?”, I ask him, not believing myself in how quickly I give in. It’s unfair that he’s a hot, idiotic old friend. Or whatever we were after…  
Actually, about that. “What are we now?”  
“Well.” His gaze pins me down, gazing right into me. Through my soul and my hurt, away from the past. Tonight seems to be different. “I’m not sure how you and Kousuke are aligning. I’m not sure if he can really be good for you, Shin-Ae.” His face looks distorted by a thought, then firm again. I even see his left hand clench and unclench. What the heck? “Nol? What do you mean? What’s going on?” As I stand up to go around the table, I see him stand up as well and look at me with his eyes.  
Why do they tell so incredibly much? How can he silence me with this kind of green? “I can’t believe that my half-brother can be good to you, Shin-Ae. I doubt he’s treating you well”, he repeats as he gets closer. Subconsciously, I hold my breath, locking eyes with him, my heart beating too fast.  
“Can I show you what I mean?” Wow, he looks so incredibly bitter. How am I supposed to deny? “Yes.” As he hesitantly takes my hands and stares at me, I feel like I know what he means. “Does he make you happy? Can he satisfy you?”, Nol starts and advances to my side of the table, to the point that I strongly smell this scent. How can he not change his smell over time? How the hell can a person be this attractive? Don't they only exist in fiction? By the time, it becomes increasingly difficult to not put my hand on his chest, or anywhere on his body.  
But his hands on my waist, slowly going up and down make my eyes flutter close and enjoy his touch. And even make my breath hitches as he slowly but firmly slides his hand under my blouse. Oh my God.  
I can feel my cheeks burning. “Can he do this?” And with this soft words spoken from his lips, not even a few seconds pass before I feel them.  
Holy shit.  
Here I am, kissing Nol, feeling like I’m under voltage, my body buzzing alive. Immediately, my arms are wrapped around his neck, further pulling him down, Burying my hands in his incredibly soft and boyish hair. His lips are so delicate, so soft, screaming I miss you at me. His tongue smoothly licks over my lips as goosebumps spread throughout my whole body.  
How is this happening? My brain becomes fuzzy as my tongue slides into his mouth, passionately caressing each other. I’m out of my element. This seems like something unreal.  
But it is real, I feel his strong arms pull me closer to his body. When we pull apart, both of us are panting for breath, and I lean against his chest. I hear his fast heartbeat and can imagine my heartbeat to be the same right now.  
That was hot. “Whoa”, I just hear him say, still embracing me. None of us speak a word as we stay like this. “So, does he make you feel like this?” As I look up at him in confusion, I realize that he’s talking about Kousuke.  
What the hell. “What the hell Nol? Why are you talking about Kousuke this much?” I should have intervened when he started talking about Kousuke. For some reason, I really like the way he kisses me, the way he caresses me, his arms around me are amazing. Everything about him feels so goddamn hot and perfect. “What do you mean? You’re dating him, right?” As I look at his lips, I realize that remnants of my lipstick still are on Nol's lips. That means...  
Shit. Of course. “Are you doing this to prove a point, Nol?”, I ask him in disbelief. Does he really have to taint this actually mind-blowing kiss now? “Well. I just… I just can’t see you with him, Shin-Ae… I missed you like hell when I left.” Is this his excuse?! He chose it!  
“Really now?!”, I ask him, putting my hands off him, seeing his again conflicted face. This has been too good to be true huh? A short silence falls between the two of us. “No.”  
As I look at him puzzled, I see his fist clench and unclench again. “What is it then? I know it’s been a while. But you can tell me.” And I in fact mean it.  
His eyes. How many times has he looked at me in the last minute and has immediately shut down my thoughts? “I’m jealous. Here it goes. I don’t want to see you next to Kousuke. I know it’s selfish and that it's not like me to think so", his eyes shortly fall on the fridge before he looks back to me. "But from what I know, he’s bad for you either way," he mumbles, his green a shade darker.  
I’m frustrated though. “Okay.”  
_I won’t make this easy for you then._ In the second kiss, I pull Nol’s face down and grasp his face with my hands, lips clashing hard this time as we close our eyes. Although I feel his surprise by the rashness, he responds with an equal fire in his kiss, hands roaming under my shirt on my back. It feels so fucking right to feel his hands and his hair. When he breaks the kiss and travels down my neck, I take in a deep breath and sigh. His kisses make me feel so awake right now. _Even though I know I as Shin-Ae wouldn’t do this…_  
Screw it. This feels awesome. I lean my head further away to give him access as he slowly but sensually goes even lower. I feel my lower stomach's pull inside, desire cramping it. Goddamn. He even pulls away the blouse to go lower. Lower and lower. I won’t stop him. “Shin-Ae…” His voice is laced with lust. “Are you okay with…” “Goddammit Yeong-Gi, just do it.” The name was a slip-up. All of this is a slip-up.  
Just today, I won’t mind the slip.  
And with that, he opens my blouse to reveal my black bra. Ugh. My small boobs... He seems to have noticed my stiffness and looked up at me. “Are you alright, Shin-Ae?” “Yeah, it’s just… my boobs, they’re so…” But he interrupts me with a quick kiss. “You’re beautiful, got it?”  
And with that, he simply takes off my blouse and kisses me again. Hesitantly now, I put my hands on his buttons of his chemise and discover what’s beneath - a freaking brick wall. Holy - is he really that ripped? And this time, his bare arms meet my bare skin, having us go even closer. As we break the kiss, I quickly stare at him to appreciate the view. Crap. And there the tattoo is that I was suspecting. I haven’t thought of it before but Nol is damn muscular.  
“Could you turn around maybe?”, I ask, my voice already sounding strangely different. As he follows my eyes, he understands and turns around. What is revealed is the image of a large, beautiful black wing. “It’s a phoenix”, Nol mutters silently into the dark, and I can’t help but softly touch it. I can hear his sharp breath intake. “What do you think?” His voice sounds so sweetly and hurtfully insecure that I can’t help but smile.  
“I think it’s hot.”  
Picking up the clothes, Nol stares at me directly, and the feeling of being looked at by his intense, desiring and surprised stare makes me feel things. “Thank you.” He quickly asks: “Where’s your dad?” “Out on a shift. He won’t come back for a while”, I just reply, my voice husky. Just like his. My insides are probably doing these judo rolls Dieter used to talk about. Slowly, I pick up our clothes, take them in one hand, his hand in the other, and head towards the room that makes my heart skip a beat.  
God. I missed him as a crush, then as a friend, and then I thought I wouldn’t at all.  
But here I am.

Quickly, I dump our clothes wherever and I probably care much for them. As we stand in front of my bed, he cages me between the edge and his body. Oh, his scent, his body, his kisses are damn good. More. I want more of that shit.  
As we look at each other, I see something similar in his arms caress my back, my belly, my body. Slowly, he gets to the zipper of the skirt - just for it to land on the floor seconds later, having him draw circles around my hips. My breath shudders. And after a few seconds, his hands softly stroke over the clasp of my bra. After my nod, he opens and I moan as he touches the erogenous zone.  
How does he know how to do all this? What the hell? It’s crazy how good this feels.  
“Lay down.” His voice, soft but firm, surprises me. “Huh?” “Lay down. I owe this to you. I’m sorry.” His eyes are sincere and firm, and I notice from the close embrace that I definitely feel some pressure in an area. Oh God. Help.  
Silently, I do as he says, staring up in fear of what might happen to me if my eyes traveled. “Shin-Ae. Look at me.” His voice is laced with everything that can turn me on. And it does. A moan escapes my lips as I give him a once over and after a long time, I travel back to his eyes. Dammit.  
My intuition was absolutely right about him being handsome before. I don’t even know how it got down to this. His eyes devour my body and make my panties wet for sure. Crap. As he bends over, Nol does not break eye contact with me, his emerald pools full of desire that I can’t freaking handle. He delicately caresses my sides as I lean into his touch on my waist, moaning as he moves towards my hips. His eyes ask - no, plead me one question: _Can I?_  
I nod. I feel so incredibly cherished right now. It’s as if he was glad that I am the way I am. I have forgotten why we’re here, what we were about to do. All I know is that Nol is seeing me wholly now, that I want him. And that the thrusts of his fingers into me make me wince. What a bliss. His fingers surely are long, I notice as I close my eyes. “Are you okay?” His voice. “Y-yeah.” I sound so thin but I don’t care as he thrusts again, a moan escaping me. When he pulls out, I nearly would have started to wince as he sensually circles around my thighs.  
I want him inside me. I really do. Thank God I’m on the pill-  
All of a sudden I feel his tongue entering my system. A loud moan escapes my mouth as I grab his hair. Oh my God. Stop. Keep going. Please keep going.  
And that guy was gone for two years? My whole body is shivering by now, his tongue sending me overwhelming waves of pleasure. I pull his hair harder. “Oh my… Nol...” His tongue makes me go over the edge, and now that he’s withdrawing it, I dare to look down and meet his eyes, witnessing as he pulls his tongue back into his mouth. I can’t handle it anymore. “I-I-”, my mouth has just given up on my words as his fingers are dangerously close to my clit, a smirk on his face? “What do you mean? Would you like me to continue?” I can’t even respond. “N-N-” This is embarrassing but I can’t help it. “No. I can’t handle it anymore, take me please”, I just reply, out of breath. My moans get muffled by the passionate kiss he gives me, having me distinctly taste myself in his mouth. “You’re amazing, Shin-Ae. Thank you for letting me do this.” Distantly, I feel a very bad feeling in my stomach. Lots of drama and hardships on their way to us.  
But honestly? As he thrusts into me, I couldn’t give a fuck about that. Distantly, like in a haze, I hear the unpacking of plastic, trying to calm down from all the stimuli I just had. God, Nol can fuck me into bliss. And as he fills me as a whole, I might feel the pressure. But his thrusts, his thorough movement really gets me over the next edge. I wish my moan would have been less loud but damn - he’s just too good. And as he exits me, leaving me in the wave of the climax, he just goes lump next to me. His freckles on his body make it even more beautiful. Bummer that he has hidden it. However, I get a full view of him when he stands up to throw away the used condom. And dang, he has a nice butt.  
Now… What are we supposed to do? Cuddle? Pick up our clothes? However, Nol just takes away my decision as he pulls me close to him once he has returned. “... What are we going to do?”, I ask him, looking into his eyes. “Huh?” “With this situation, I mean.” “I don’t know”, he answers thoughtfully, picking up what I mean then. “But what I’m certain about is that I’m going, to be honest with you this time. I don’t want to lose you.” “Me too.”  
Gosh. I wouldn’t have thought how immensely this moment has helped me. This moment was amazing. He’s amazing.  
I really missed him. But my tongue gets ahead of me when I say: “Another round?” His smirk and questioning eyebrow tell me enough.


End file.
